How to save your child from a sex predator?

How to save your child from a sex predator?

The Gurugram murder of the child has again thrown open many fundamental questions. Now, what is it we can do as parents?

So the lesson number one do not think only girls are venerable, even boys are.

What are the solutions to ensure that your child is safe from the sexual predator?

Child abuse is something which always existed. The fundamental difference which has come is the spread of the news. Earlier such things were kept under the carpet and the attempt was made to hush the matter. A bit of this still is true. People will generally not like to share such experiences for the fear of the stigma. Such an experience feels self-implicating. This is the greatest strength of the predator.

As we bring up our kids we all come across such situations. We are lucky if we could see the intentions of predators otherwise it is a hidden dark spot.Today when I look back I can make few observations which I would like to share with you!

For the Kids:

NO SECRETS:

I always spoke to my kids in length. As a friend, not in any authoritative way during their tender age. Kids like to share when we are like THE BFG(Big friendly Giant- A film by Director: Steven Spielberg). A physical situation can be that you hold your child in your lap or maybe you sit on the ground at his eye level etc.

The child will talk to you! Ask more probing questions! Not just what did you do at school?

Tell your child that he can talk to you anytime anywhere about anything. I remember telling my sons, tell me anything, I will stand by you. Build confidence.

2. THE CHILD IS THE BOSS OF HIS BODY

The child should know that he is the boss of his body. If he does not like someone touching him/her he can say “NO’ and inform you immediately. The kids too know if it is an uncomfortable touch or a good touch. They too have the inner voice and they have the right to express it. You are the first person they will come to seek help. So listen to them.

3. TEACH HIM/HER GOOD OR BAD TOUCH

I will give you a well-researched poster.( CHECK AT THE END OF THE BLOG!)

What is it we can do:

1. OUR SIXTH SENSE: Trust your Radar-

Another aspect is a thing all of us might have experienced. We have the sixth sense. If anyone has obnoxious intentions we are able to see it. Believe in yourself and be more careful. Do not be ever scared of spoiling of relations if your child is in danger.

The data shows that the 90% of predators are known, people. If someone is going over the board, like gifting too many things to your baby or paying a bit too much of attention then your Antanas should rise.

A point I want to emphasize over here is that it is not just a small child but your daughter as well as your son, who may be just 13-15 year old is equally vulnerable. Watch out many uncles become too helping to your daughter/son! Keep your eyes open and boys are equally vulnerable.

As parents, it is very difficult. It is a very fine line. You have to give space and independence to your child as well protect him. It is your gut feel which might give you few answers.

2. PARENTS ARE VISIBLE:

People know parents are around: The biggest deterrents to child predators is the possibility of getting caught. One can send the message to teachers and coaches relatives that you are involved in your child’s life, both at home and at school. You cannot be around all the time. But introduce yourself and let the people involved know that you are aware of what happens. You may casually drop lines like Ankit talks about you all the time or just narrate an event he told you.This will put such a predator on notice. You may pop up in such a session unannounced. Most of the people are safe but one odd black sheep will be on notice. This doesn’t mean being a supermom — it’s just a way to demonstrate that you are aware and involved.